


Even chickens

by VirtualStar



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Fix-It, Fluff, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 03:11:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17696552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VirtualStar/pseuds/VirtualStar
Summary: After what happens at the end, Ash uses the plane ticket Eiji left for him. It's the moment to lay all out on the table.





	Even chickens

Ash wakes up in an unknown hospital room, clean white walls and simple furniture; with an IV on his arm and pain on his chest. Glancing outside the window doesn't show what time it is, it is as likely sunset as sunrise. Next to his bed there is a chair, and sleeping there, with unkempt clothes, Max is half sitting half slipping down the chair.

"Max." Ash voice is barely a whisper, "Max."

"Ash?" Max opens his eyes, "Ash! Thank God you are awake!" Max stands up quickly, pushing the button to call the nurses. "You lost so much blood. We didn't know if you were going to wake up again", he looks really glad.

"What happened?" speaking is hard, even short sentences are an effort on Ash. "I remember... Lao?"

"Yes, he stabbed you." Max has his hand on Ash's hair, moving it away from his face, "You were found passed out in the library. You had lost so much blood already... You almost died."

"I see." Ash closes his eyes.

"You had a letter with you, written by Eiji. And an envelope with a ticket to Japan," Max takes an envelope from a pocket inside his jacket.

"So?"

"So... Don't you think that you should use this ticket?" Max leaves the envelope on the table next to Ash's bed.

"Max..." Ash is tired. Of talking. Of thinking in what-ifs terms about Eiji. Of having fantasies that had too much against them to come true.

"Ash, right know almost everybody thinks you are dead. Dino and Fox are dead. Even Yut-Lung seems to be in radio silence. There is nothing tying you here, but there is something, or someone waiting for you in Japan."

Silence.

"Also, there is this," said Max with a small manila envelope in his hand.

"What's that?"

Max opened the envelope and showed an American passport to Ash.  
"Chris Smith. 20. Born in New York," Max turns the passport, open in the first page, towards Ash.

"Where did you get that?" the passport looks high quality.

"Sing gave it to me when he came to see you. He feels guilty that it was his brother who stabbed you."

"I killed him"

"Yes. Still, Sing brought this for you. We went to say goodbye to Eiji at the airport and it was clear how much he missed you. He was looking all around hoping to see you."

"Stop it," grunts Ash.

"Let's talk later about that Ash. You just woke up after 3 days in a coma, don't overexert yourself."

"And what are you doing here, old man?"

"Taking care of you, of course."

"I don't-!" Ash stops mid-sentence feeling his face red "Do what you want," he mumbles at last.

"That's what I'm doing," Max ruffles Ash hair. "Sleep now".  
  
The next morning passes in a whirlwind of doctors, nurses, and tests. The stabbing didn't hurt any major organ, but the area will probably be always weak and if he is told it wouldn't be strange if he felt it when he gets older. The doctors could stop the hemorrhage inside his body, but he was going to need a long stay at the hospital and recovery. But he was alive.  
  
"I haven't told Eiji yet. But I think you should call him and tell him what happened at least," warns Max.

"Max..." the old man is meddlesome.

"Listen, everything is over. Golzine is dead, Fox too. For good or for bad, all the information about Banana Fish is lost forever. Sing and Cain are trying to calm things down, and even Yut-Lung seems to be lying down. There is nothing tying you here."

"Being near me ended up with Eiji being shot. And before that, in danger more times than I can count."

"I didn't think I would see the day were I saw Ash Lynx scared," taunts Max.

"I am, ok!? I am! Eiji has been hurt enough already!"

"He is hurting more without you by his side. And you are even taking away from him the choice to be with you," a sigh scapes Max "Call him, even if just to ask him how he is. Don't tell him about this if you don't want."  
  
Max takes a cellphone from his pocket and leaves it on the table.  
"Eiji's number is recorded inside" he picks up his jacket from the back of the chair "I'm going to shower and change clothes. I'll be back later."  
  
The cellphone is a big temptation. Eiji is only a call away and there is a need inside Ash to just hear his voice. But it is so selfish to bring Eiji back to the darkness. And even if it didn't put him in danger, it is like dangling something unattainable in front of Ash.  
  
But maybe, Eiji was worried about him. A phone call wouldn't be dangerous. And Eiji didn't have to know about the stabbing; knowing the Japanese boy if he knew, he was very capable of flying back to New York.  
  
20 minutes of agonizing doubts later, Ash hand grabs the phone. There were 3 numbers already in the device; Max, Sing and Eiji.  
  
One tone. Two tones.  
  
"Moshi Moshi?"

"Eiji... Hello."

"Ash? Ash! I am so sorry that I didn't call you when I reached Japan. I was angry at you, but that wasn't very mature, wasn't it?" Eiji's voice is like the water of a warm bath "How are you, Ash? Sing... Did he give you... "

"The letter. And the ticket. Eiji..."

"It's not an obligation to anything. If you come here, you are free to leave at any moment you want. But I would like to show you Japan at least."

"Being with me got you shot," he cuts Eiji's rant.

"I don't blame you. The only guilty is the person who shot me. I want to see you again, Ash. And I want to be selfish and ask you to come to Japan, and stay."

"Eiji, I... I'm at the hospital," the moment of truth.

"What happened!?" shock can't be disguised in Eiji's voice.

"I was stabbed by Lao. I... I lost a lot of blood and woke up at the hospital."

"I'm going back! I'll get the first flight-"

"Eiji!" Ash stops Eiji mid-sentence "Don't."

"Why?"

"I don't want to hurt you. I know that I let you spend two years in danger, and I'm sorry. I calling to apologize."

"Ash" Eiji's voice turns cold "you didn't LET me do nothing. It was my choice, and you aren't on your right mind if you think that being here when you are in the hospital doesn't hurt."

"Haa..." it was hard to argue with Eiji when he got like that "Fine. Still, it isn't less true that you were in danger. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry also for the fact that I'm selfish."

"You're not..."

"I am, because even after everything. Even when I know that the best option is to let you continue your life in peace, I want to use the ticket you gave to me."

A sharp breath. "I'll be selfish too. I want to see you, Ash."

"I don't want you coming here now but... Eiji, will you wait for me in Japan? I'll go as soon as the medical staff gives me the ok"

"Hmf, as soon as the medical staff gives an ok, he says. As if you and I didn't know that you are going to try to scape as soon as possible"

He shouldn't be surprised that Eiji knew him better than expected.  
  
It takes over two months, and that was pushing it short, but finally, Ash is at the airport, ready to fly to Japan. In the two months, he was recovering nobody came to bother him, not foes nor friends and he is glad. New York seemed calmer with Sing and Cain and the rest keeping everything under control.

 

**3 months later**

15 hours later, Ash is landing in Tokyo and after 3 hours, he is flying to Izumo. He didn't even have to wait for his suitcase, he brought the minimum and it's not like he did have much.

After exiting the gates of the arrival area he almost feels before he sees Eiji. He braces himself for an impact but even with his speed, Eiji hugs Ash softly. Clearly, he is minding his injuries, even if at that point it has become more like a distant annoyance; but Ash feels warm at the gesture and care.

His hand drops the suitcase and he circles Eiji with his arms. The other body warmth is comforting, and Eiji's smell brings a surge of memories.

"I missed you so much," Ash whispers against Eiji's hair, his arms holding the Japanese man tighter.

Eiji doesn't talk, he just pushes his face against Ash's chest.

"I rented a room for you... for us," says Eiji at last.

Ash lifts his brow, surprised. Eiji blushes.

"It's just..., I want you to meet my family. But before that, I don't... I just want to have you for myself for a few days," it seemed like the time between Eiji's departure and now made him more direct and assertive.

"Ohoho big bro, you pervert," Ash can't help but tease although he understands the feeling.

"Ash!"  Eiji felt calmer when he heard Ash's laugh. "You shouldn't tease your elders."

"Let's go and see what kind of place you are taking me," said Ash picking his luggage.

"I picked an old traditional Japanese style hotel. You know, the kind that is haunted!" says Eiji as revenge.

"Heh, I hope to see your battle against a ghost."

The conversation is cut short when they arrive at the taxi station and go into one. In the back of the taxi, already on their way to the hotel, Eiji slides his hand up to Ash's, lacing his fingers together. He doesn't talk, but Ash is looking at him.

"I'm glad you are here. Welcome home."  
"Thanks, Eiji."  
  
The ride to the hotel is silent, but their hands remain linked. 15 minutes later, and the taxi stops in front of a building and Ash and Eiji come out of the taxi.

"It looks old enough, but not so hunted," smirks Ash.

"Who knows. This ryokan is almost 300 years old, I guess it has seen some troubles in its history."

The inside is as beautiful as the outside and the room they are taken to is amazing. A wide space with tatami mats as a floor, with wooden walls and a shuoji in the middle of the room that can turn the room into two sections. At the other side of the room, there is another shouji, beautifully painted with the amado closed outside.

The woman from the ryokan opens the shouji and the amado, revealing a beautiful veranda over a traditional Japanese garden with a small lake. After explaining all they need to know, she leaves.  
  
Ash is silent, looking at the tokonoma, where a roll of paper with Japanese calligraphy is hanging, and a beautiful flower arrangement is there as well.

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful," he smirks "it's a pity they forgot the beds."

"Ha, ha." Eiji walks towards the closet and opens the door "Be glad you are still young enough to sleep on the floor" says pointing at the futon kept inside. "Why don't you take a shower? Dinner will be served in a while and you must be tired from the flight".

Ash picks a change of clothes from his luggage and disappears into the bathroom. Eiji sits down in one of the zabutons next to the table and slumps over the table.

There is so much he wants to tell Ash, so much to ask and so much to request. He is nervous as hell even if until that point he managed to act like a normal human being and not the wreck he feels he is. He sighs.

The outcome doesn't really matter. Regardless of what Ash wants to do from now on, Eiji is decided to support him, even if it's painful. To put his heart on the line and as they said in America, put his money where his mouth is.

"So, you said something about dinner," said Ash coming out of the bathroom.

"I reserved a kaiseki course. It's... they bring like different small dishes with traditional food, it has to look pretty and tastes good."

Almost on cue, a voice from behind the door asked something in Japanese and Eiji answered.

"They said they will start bringing the food in 15 minutes."  
  
Ash and Eiji were already sitting one in front of the other when the people from the inn start bringing the dishes.

"This is tiny!" said Ash eyeing the small dish placed in front of him, with a small amount of food carefully arranged in the middle.

"They will be bringing several dishes. I mean the important part is the overall image, so to say? It must be as tasty as beautiful. Even the dishes where the food is served are important, antique ceramics probably. The order of the dishes have a reason as well and the food changes with the season."

Ash picks the food in the dish with his chopsticks and eats. Eiji looks at him expectantly.

"Delicious. I don't know why are you so hellbent on natto when there is this kind of food here."

"Shut up and eat!" but there is no malice behind the retort.  
  
Ash seemed to enjoy all the dishes and at the end of the dinner, they both feel quite full. The staff cleans the last of the dishes and inform them that now that dinner is over, they will shortly prepare the futon for the night.

Eiji tells them something in Japanese and some minutes later somebody from the staff enters politely with a small tray that has a jar and two ceramic cups on top.

"Let's sit outside and watch the moon until they prepare the room?" says Eiji moving towards the veranda.

They sit down and drank the first cup in silence while they hear the staff getting the room ready.

"Ash." when the room turns silent, the bubbliness of the afternoon seems to disappear and Eiji face becomes serious but calm "I'm glad you are here. And I don't know what are your plans or intentions for the future, but I just want to say that I'm with you. Regardless of what you want to do, I want to support with all my might. Please, don't forget that."

Ash doesn't answer beyond a series of nods, but he laces his fingers with Eiji.

"I just wanted you to know," added Eiji.

They remained in silence, watching the moon, until Ash started yawning.

"The futons are ready, so we can sleep if you are tired. Flying from overseas is exhausting."  
Inside, the futons are side to side in one of the partitions of the room, close enough that they could touch each other if they wished.

"We can pull them more apart if you like," says Eiji.

"No, it's fine like this"  
  
They lay down in their futons with the lights off. Ash is tired, the kind of tired that he can feel in his bones but still can't sleep, mostly thinking about Eiji's words. He still can't shake the fact that Eiji was hurt, even shot, because of him and being near the older man was probably dangerous. But this was Japan and not New York. What would be the cost of trying?

"You can't sleep?" Eiji's voice cuts the silence of the room.

"I'm thinking."

"About?"

"About you. About what you said before. About New York and Japan."

"Ash, can I go there?"  
  
Ash is surprised, but just opens the side of his futon to let Eiji slip inside.

"I wasn't completely sincere before. What I told you was true, don't doubt that for a moment, but there is something else. I had enough time to think about it, especially after you told me about the stabbing. Ash, I love you. Not just as a friend; I love you as a man. As a person. In all ways. I not saying this to force you into any decision, you don't have to do anything, but I wanted you to know."

"Eiji..." Ash sounded breathless "You're so unfair."

"I..."

"If you tell me this, how can I avoid it? How can I protect you when you are dangling what I want the most in front of me? I don't think I have enough in me to do the right thing."

"There is no wrong answer here. I'll be by your side regardless."

"Fuck. Fuck, Eiji!" Ash pushes his face against Eiji's chest and hugs him tighter "How can you be so strong?"

"Strong?"

"You are laying everything out as if it was nothing. If that isn't strong..."

"I just don't want to have any regrets. Not because of fear, not because of miscommunication or misunderstandings."

"I feel the same," Ash's voice is shaky "How can you doubt that there is any other answer? But I fear I'm living on borrowed time and my past will catch up to me.And you'll pay the price as well"

"If you didn't have to worry about anything else, what would you like to do?"

"I don't care as long as you are there. I don't care where or what. For all I care, we could buy a chicken farm in the countryside and live our life with our crops and our chickens."

Eiji laughs "You don't have such a great track with chickens. But I get it, I want the same: Let's try it, Ash."  
  
"I... Eiji" Ash puts his head on the pillow again, looking at Eiji defeated "I'm going to be a lousy boyfriend." This is his last line of defense.

"How so?"

"I... I bad at picking presents."

"I'll make you a list of the things I like."

"I'm bad at remembering anniversaries and special dates."

"I'll remind you. Will mark everything on a calendar."

"I am used to doing things my way, Probably I won't communicate with you and leave you in the dark."

"I will get angry at you and tell you are an idiot. After that, I'll make you talk to me." Eiji makes it sound so easy.

Ash chuckles but loses his smile quickly. "I..., Eiji, I don't know if I can have sex" Ash stops even his breath after the sentence, waiting for Eiji's answer.

"Ash, I want you in any way you want to share with me. I want to have sex with you, but only if you want it too. I choose you a hundred times as you are right now" Eiji's hand is on Ash's nape, caressing his neck and hair.  
  
"Ok..., ok." Ash answers between yawns. He knows when he is in a losing battle and it's not really a battle he wanted to win either. "You trusted me in New Your. I'll trust you here," he squeezes Eiji's hand.

"Can I kiss you?" asks Eiji. He looks almost at the point of tears.  
Instead of answering, Ash presses his lips against Eiji, an innocent kiss almost childish, but Eiji's heart skips a beat.

"Let's go to sleep." Eiji tries to get up to go back to his futon but Ash is holding him tight.

"Sleep here."

"Yes" answers Eiji while lies down pulling Ash into an embrace. "Good night"  
  
  
**Morning**  
The morning brings a kind of calm upon Ash. The future is dark and he is still scared of something breaking the peace that floods him, but he has a goal, an end game. All he needs now is to plan how to get there, and Ash is good at planning.

Lying on the futon in Eiji's arms, he makes the choice to believe that everything will be alright. If he is living on borrowed time, the best he can do is taking advantage of that, trust Eiji and spend the remaining time with him.  
  
"Good morning." he is so distracted by his train of thought that he doesn't realize that Eiji is already away, although sleepy, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes." Ash feels suddenly shy. What do you say to your boyfriend? Are they even boyfriends, like boyfriends? The idea makes him giddy, "Hey Eiji, yesterday you said you wanted to have sex?" he smiles sweetly.

"...Yes," says Eiji suddenly apprehensive.

"So... you have thought about it?" Eiji's face is getting redder and redder by the moment and Ash is having the time of his life teasing him.

"Well..., yes? I mean... a bit." Eiji is almost reaching the point of self-combustion.

"Ohh, and what do you think about?" Ash is teasing but also interested in his answer "What are your fantasies?" He wonders what turns Eiji on.

Eiji pushes his face against Ash's neck, "I didn't think about specifics, you know something more like... Making you feel good. Touching you. Those kinds of things." his voice is muffled by the covers and Ash yukata.

"Hmm... and what about you? There is something you would like me to do to you?" he pushes further.

"Well..."

"C'mon, you said you were putting everything on the line," he knows he is totally turning Eiji's words against him but he doesn't care when he is getting such golden results.

"Fine... fine... Maybe I would like for you totiemeupandenjoyme..." Eiji speaks so quick it's almost hard to follow his words.

"Oh..." he always manages to surprise Ash, and he can't say he's unaffected. Something tugs at his heart at the level of trust on Eiji's part to put himself at his mercy just like that. And he can't either deny the warmth that suddenly travels his body when thinking about it; Eiji's beautiful body laid bare, letting Ash touch and kiss and bite and lick wherever he wishes. He wonders how Eiji's sounds when he is desperate, how he looks when he feels unbearably turned on.

He is so suddenly invaded by the desire to make it happen he feels dizzy.

"They are just fantasies. We don't have to do anything you don't want!" Eiji mistakes his silence for something else.

"I want to. Not now, I don't know when, but I want to have sex with you. It's not fair".

"I never thought about it in those terms" Eiji's retorts a bit sad.

"I know. But it's not fair to you. And it's not fair to me, because I want to do those things. I really want to, and I don't want to be robbed of it by my past. I don't want to be controlled by it anymore".

Eiji smiles and kisses Ash forehead. "Yeah, we'll make it happen." he repositions on the bed "For now let's laze up for a bit, and later I'll show you my favorite places in Izumo." there is time to get into the details.

"Deal. It's a date." Ash winks.

**Author's Note:**

> Quick glossary:  
> Shouji: japanese paper door. Usually used inside the home.  
> Amado: wooden doors used at traditional Japanese homes. It protects the shouji from getting wet when it rains.  
> Ryokan: traditional japanese inn.  
> Tokonoma: alcove at traditional Japanese homes where things such as calligraphy, flower arrangements, beautiful kimonos, etc. are placed to enjoy their beauty.  
> Zabuton: small pillow to use when you sit on the floor.


End file.
